- I’m not going to talk about freedom in the sense of civil freedom, but rather in being free from the metaphorical, metaphysical bonds (whether real or imaginary) that hold us back from various things.
- While many people in the world suffer from an actual lack of freedom (as in, they don’t have access to fundamental human rights), I’m just going to assume that if you’re reading this, then you don’t actually suffer from this.
- Rather, you probably do suffer from your own beliefs that you are somehow lacking in freedom to truly do whatever you want, whether imposed by society, your relationships, or your own brain.
- For example, you may believe that you have to get a normal 9-5 job to support yourself and your family, rather than trying to follow your passion as an artist. Of course, though, nothing is physically stopping you from becoming an artist! It’s just in your head.
- I’m going to discuss some of the ways in which we believe our freedom is impinged on, and perhaps ways in which we can change our thinking to fully embrace the fact that we are truly and completely free to do whatever we want.
- The first, and most important, is the freedom from the fallacy that if an action seems like it will lead to “bad” consequences, then it is impossible to take that action.
- For example, if you believe that asking someone out while in line at a bank (which I’ve done before) is socially unacceptable, or at least uncomfortable, then your brain may lead you to believe that it is something you cannot do.
- Of course, though, that is completely an imaginary thing: If an action is practically possible for you as a human being, then you can take the action.
- Rather, the consequences of that action are what are making you feel like it’s impossible to do, because you fear the potential ramifications of what your action may do.
- This is a very important point, because it supports the theory that people far too often conflate the action itself with the worst possible consequence rather than keeping those two distinct ideas.
- This may seem like somewhat of a pedantic point: Of course, if you don’t like what the consequences may be, then you won’t take the action, even if you don’t think about these two ideas as separate phenomena.
- But actually, it is critical, because the ONLY THINGS completely under your control in this world are your actions, while consequences are a combination of both your actions and external things outside your control.
- My main point is that your belief about what the consequences may be is likely very wrong since it is impossible to take into account every single factor that goes into every single reaction.
- On the other hand, you can know with certainty the action you are going to take!
- So maybe now you can see why it’s important to separate the two: You realize that EVERY ACTION that you can humanly take is possible, and that the consequences, while they play a part, are often completely impossible to figure out beforehand.
- So, my suggestion is that you focus on your own actions that make you happy rather than thinking about whether the consequences will make you happy (since you have little control over those).
- If you only focus on your actions and take little thought as to the consequences, since they will vary so wildly as to never be predictable, you will be rewarded by an everlasting sense of freedom and satisfaction.
- You’re probably thinking, “But this goes against everything everyone has told me about thinking about the consequences of your actions!”
- Maybe so, because I want you to think about it a different way: If you agree with me that you can’t completely predict consequences, then you can think of focusing on the actions you enjoy the most as resulting in the consequences that are meant to happen.
- I’ll shed light on this idea with an example:
- Let’s say you play video games with your best friend every day. But after several months of this, you realize that you want to do something more productive, but also don’t want to hurt your best friend.
- If you were thinking about the intended consequences only (which is not to hurt your best friend), then the obvious answer is that you keep playing video games with your friend, since that will hurt him or her the least. Or maybe, you make a convoluted plan of trying to break it to your friend in a nice way, and it takes a lot of mental and emotional effort because you never really know how your friend will take it.
- In the meantime, as you concoct this plan while trying to maintain your composure, your friend will most certainly pick up on subtle differences in the way you’re acting.
- They’ll notice that you’re more irritable when you’re playing, always have to leave sooner, etc., and think it’s their fault. You’ll begin to hurt them no matter what.
- Then, when you get the courage to tell them, they’ll already be angry at your behavior and you’ll end your relationship on a sour note.
- On the other hand, if you think only of the actions that you would most enjoy (which is to be more productive, i.e., stop playing video games or at least not as much), then you would, without thinking, immediately stop playing.
- Probably, you would tell your best friend immediately as well, and while they would be hurt at the beginning, the longer-lasting consequences are that they would respect your honesty.
- Then, if life has you sticking together for longer, then you will continue to be friends. If you go your separate ways, then that’s also better for both of you in the long run.
- This is just one example, but you can see that since you can never really know the consequences, it’s both hard to make an action that reaches that exact consequence and it’s also not certain to get that consequence anyway.
- On the other hand, if you just do the correct action for you (which you can know with certainty what that is based on the frustration you’re feeling), then the consequences will ALWAYS turn out in the way they’re meant to be.
- That doesn’t necessarily mean the consequences will always work out “good” or “bad”; I don’t think those are the proper terms in this case.
- What I mean is that, just by the mere fact of taking the action, the unpredictable consequences will turn out to be exactly what you needed since you took the action that you most needed to take.
- The second is freedom from the feeling that your thoughts control you.
- It’s the feeling that your thoughts have actual substance or weight and, with enough force, they will decide your actions for you.
- I’ve talked extensively about this in Clear Mind, so I won’t beat a dead horse on the subject.
- But I do want to repeat from that article that you have to realize and accept that NO THOUGHT has ever actually done anything to change the world.
- Your ACTIONS change the world, and though you may feel that your thoughts directly lead to your actions, you have to recognize that those two things are vastly separated (or at least pretend that that is the case).
- In that way, your thoughts don’t control your actions, but rather, they help you as a “second voice” to aid you in how best to change the world with your actions.
- But in the same way you wouldn’t listen to someone every time, because sometimes they have bad advice, the same is true for your own thoughts.
- Note that I would say the “first voice” is your instinct or your gut; it’s the feeling you get on which actions to take (which is also sometimes correct and sometimes incorrect).
- Don’t pigeonhole yourself by saying you ALWAYS have to follow your gut or you ALWAYS have to think about something to make an action.
- In some cases, one is more important, and in other cases, the other is more important, and in even more cases, it really doesn’t matter at all.
- I won’t be able to list out all the cases, nor do I want to, since it is so different for each person. Just trust yourself that in each situation, you’ll be able to make the right decision on which voice to listen to, or perhaps blend both into the best decision.
- The third is freedom from believing that if you can’t define something in words or a cogent argument, then it’s either untrue or worthless.
- If you are a very logical-minded person, then this is probably something you deal with.
- Many things in life can’t be put into words (like the feeling you get when you reach the summit of a mountain and see the sunrise over an alpine lake).
- However, even though experiences, feelings, and ideas like this are both true to you and important to you, often you may feel that, since you can’t explain it to someone else (or maybe even to yourself), then it’s either lesser or invalid.
- That’s so dumb! I’m sorry, but those experiences matter so much, potentially even more than the ones you can explain!
- I have no tips to get better at this, but rather one truism: Any experience, feeling, idea, or anything else that you have is equally as important as any other in the grand scheme of things (that is to say, of zero importance).
- It’s your choice to choose what you assign value to, but if you believe that the most value goes to only those things you can explain in words or even just in more concrete thoughts (rather than feelings or intuition), then you are using a faulty metric.
- The fourth is freedom from believing that you have to be 100% sure about something before you take an action.
- Among highly-decisive individuals, there’s a common belief that if you’re “70% sure about something,” then it’s enough to move forward with it.
- Now, I wouldn’t give too much thought to the actual percentage but rather the purpose behind it: If you’re reasonably, but excessively, more sure than 50/50 about a given decision, then just take it!
- You don’t want to spend all your time thinking about the pros and cons of taking an action when you’re already pretty sure about what the best decision is.
- I bet you that for 99% of decisions you make, you know the “correct decision” almost instantly. Perhaps not in a rational sense (like you can’t actually put the decision into words), but in an intuitive or “gut feeling” sense.
- Trust your gut more and just make the decision that you feel is right–even if it’s a mistake, you probably won’t die from it, so you can learn from it for next time.
- If you truly don’t get the feeling, only then should you start trying to break the options down.
- Among highly-decisive individuals, there’s a common belief that if you’re “70% sure about something,” then it’s enough to move forward with it.
- The fifth is the freedom from believing that life has a defined purpose.
- I’ve talked extensively about this in my Purpose article, but it bears repeating: Life has no defined purpose!
- However, I don’t believe you will have a satisfying life unless you have purpose/s.
- Following from those statements, really, your only option is not to find a purpose but to build or create a purpose for yourself.
- I like the word “build” more than “create” because it’s an iterative process; you usually can’t just make one, and then that’s that. Your purpose/s will evolve as your life changes.
- Don’t waste your time trying to find that purpose or believing that you don’t have a purpose if you don’t choose one that society says is acceptable (e.g., choosing a religion as your propose).
- Rather, work to understand yourself and build purposes that already fit with the things you find meaningful in life and enjoy naturally.
- I’ve talked extensively about this in my Purpose article, but it bears repeating: Life has no defined purpose!
- The sixth is the freedom from believing that happiness is earned, when in fact it’s just a choice.
- This will almost certainly be an article in the future, but I’ll give a brief teaser as to the topic of choosing happiness.
- My theory (totally unfounded by any data except my own experiences) is that ambitious people find happiness in 3 successive mindsets that they evolve into as they mature:
- 1. Through the results they achieve ->
- 2. Through the actions they take ->
- 3. Through just existing
- I think the first two are fairly obvious:
- People, in general, judge others by their results, and therefore we tend to judge ourselves by our results. This tends to make us mix up our happiness with our results.
- I would bet 75-85% of the population never get past this step.
- Then, people start to realize that they have very little control over the consequences of their actions in the grand scheme of things and start to value their actions as the source of happiness. I.e., if I do “good” actions but achieve a “bad” result, then I still feel happy.
- Probably 15-20% of the population.
- People, in general, judge others by their results, and therefore we tend to judge ourselves by our results. This tends to make us mix up our happiness with our results.
- Finally, the happiest people completely separate their happiness from anything they are “doing”, and rather choose happiness by just “being”.
- You have to realize that you don’t have to have a specific reason to be happy.
- In fact, happiness is a whole separate thing from the real world, so to speak. The whole outside world could be crumbling around you, but you could choose to be happy and there would be nothing stopping you.
- You might understand this logically, but I would bet only 5-10% of people ever internalize this. Why? Because we’re taught from a young age that we have to have a reason to be happy.
- To wrap it up, free yourself from the need to find a reason for being happy and instead just be happy!
- Of course, there are a million ways in which our thoughts cage us and this article could go on forever. But I hope you start to see from the ones I listed above that if it’s humanly practical to do or be something, then you actually have the freedom to do it.
- Become a more mature individual and separate what you believe is possible from what is actually possible. If you don’t wanna do something because of the consequences, own it rather than trying to blame the action as being impossible due to your circumstances or your thoughts.
- I don’t believe in the saying that “anything is possible,” but I like the sentiment behind it: People often do not realize their true potential because they feel as if there are some things that are not possible; when in fact it is possible, it’s just either difficult or uncomfortable.
- It should be “Anything that is humanly practical is possible to do by a human.” Not as nice a ring to it, but it better illustrates the point.
- Now, as you start to think about your own cages, instead of thinking about how you can break them, just realize that they were never there all along. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out why you put the cages there in the first place, rather just imagine they disappeared entirely and live your life with more freedom.
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